amberlenore

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I set up at my coffee shop for 7 hours and studied hard. It felt great. I just took it one step at a time.

When I felt a block coming, or when I felt overwhelmed, I just told myself,

"This is not beyond you. You can choose to learn this. Learning takes time".

I feel better.

And in case you are interested, here are some of the concepts I am happy to say I fully understand due to my diligent studying:

( Microbial Metabolism )

Why Dominic and I will always be together, Reason #71:

He runs errands for me. Just puts on his little ‘ol coat and walks around the hill to get me random chocolate deliciousness. No complaint. He lives to serve.

Full list coming soon.

We had a lot of fun tonight.

1. Answer each of the questions below the cut using the Flickr search engine.
2. Choose a photo from the first three pages.
3. Copy the URL of your favorite photos here.
4. Then share with the world.

Questions:
01. First Name
02. Favorite Food
03. Hometown
04. Favorite Color
05. Celebrity Crush
06. Favorite Drink
07. Dream Holiday
08. Favorite Dessert
09. What I Want To Be When I Grow Up
10. What I Love Most In The World
11. One Word That Describes Me
12. My Blog Name

Me:

I have pneumonia.

I am busy, but I just don’t feel right if I don’t update my journal. Almost 4 years with this blog and I feel wrong if I don’t share. I feel like I left the house without turning the oven off.

Christmas was strange and fabulous and loud. We ventured to Kent to stay at my Uncle Leo’s house. His partner Chewy has this big (I mean REAL big) Mexican family, most of whom joined us for the festivities.

We played games, ate great food and listened to Chewy’s very loud sisters yell all night long (not about anything in particular, but as a mode of communication).





Olive got to meet what I suppose are her cousins.



I mean, no relation, but family isn’t really about blood anyway.

So, yeah. I think it’s safe to say we had a really great Christmas.

My washing machine just broke.

Flipping out will being in 5...4...3...2...1...

...and tell me how to chill out.

1. I had a great time in Rhode Island and an even better home coming. Dom and I felt like we had never been so far apart before. Wait. We had not. Just holding each other felt like getting presents.

2. It's snowing a lot.

3. We are moving SO soon. We go to Seattle early tomorrow to look for a place to live. The lady that is going to rent my house is ready to move in here in 2 weeks. Fuuuuck.

I want to make a real post, with pics and everything, but I am too tired and distracted.

I just wanted to check in :)

I had a crazy morning at the pre-school!

I found a renter for my house!

I am packed and ready for my trip across the country!

Imma go teach childbirth class now!

...walking around in the rain with my iPod. Buying misc. stuff for my trip...shoe glue, batteries.
Taking care of my world so it doesn't explode in my absence...paying the mortgage, cleaning the house, making phone calls.

Today is the first day I have not been in pain. I am relieved, happy.

Last night I sat in a dark hospital room letting IV fluids and pain meds relieve my very first migraine. I couldn’t tolerate light, movement, or sound. I felt like my brain was collapsing into itself. Dominic just waited with me nervously. The doctor said it sounded like it was stress related and I need to rest.

I don't know how to get rid of this stress, most of which is self inflicted. I feel this immense burden with all this moving stuff, and I can’t seem to let it go. Dominic made me promise I wouldn’t look at craigslist today. Or paint. Or pack boxes. Or work on my application for school. I just feel like if I don’t I will lose something. I feel like if I get more done I will somehow feel better, but no matter how much I do it doesn’t feel like enough.

I don’t know what’s going on in my head.

This whole looking for a place thing is making me NUTS, so I am taking a break. I need to concentrate on getting my house fixed/rented first. I would prefer to have the place rented and be homeless for a bit than find a place in Seattle and then not get a renter in time. That would mean we would be obligated to pay for both places.

SO F IT for now. Imma get this house done and find me a renter god darn it.

I am taking Olive swimming and not thinking about this shit anymore.

Today I feel overwhelmed by the chaos of my house. The boxes, the miscellaneous crap sitting everywhere. Olive bouncing off the walls with nothing to do, the dog chewing on everything he can find because I am too distracted to deal with him. I cannot seem to remember anything. The other day, on my way to Seattle to check out that studio, I put my wallet onto of my car at the gas station and drove away. I didn’t realize what I had done until I was almost to Seattle. Luckily I live in the weirdest place in the world and the person that found it gave it to the gas station attendant without taking my debit card or the $80 in cash I had inside.

The studio was so, so small and I just couldn’t see paying $925 a month for it. Sure, it’s in Belltown, which is rad, but the three of us wouldn’t fit in there. We would go nuts. This evening Dom, Olive, Keith and I are going back to Seattle to look at another place, a 3 bedroom apartment in the International District. I am fairly sure I am going to love it, so I have my fingers crossed that we get it. I am already SO done living in boxes and disorganized squalor. I am also SO done not knowing when I am going to work next, if the pre-school is going to call or of the hospital is going to call. Not knowing if I am not going to work at all (like this last week) or if I am going to work way too much (like the week before last). I want a nice, steady job in Seattle that I can count on. I don’t want to do the hustle anymore, or sell my stuff so I can have enough money to get by (my accordion etc.).

It’s all just so much. Finding a new place to live, fixing my house and trying to find a renter, taking care of Olive and Dominic, looking at starting school in four weeks, re-writing my entire Midwifery school application, teaching, working (or not), cooking, cleaning, running daily errands for my mother, driving here, there and the next place and not getting nearly enough sleep because there is so much to do.

Yesterday was fabulous.

We had Thannksgiving-Birthday at Dan and Marissas house. It was just a nice, relaxing time. Olive and Mimi played happily and we just layed back and enjoyed the good company.








(This is the way Keith looks always. We could be eating, watching a movie, whatever. He is ALWAYS playing that guitar).

The food was amazing, of course. I was so, so thankful to have that family of friends. My bio-family is crazy, so it was extra nice to be with my buddies.

This morning I got a responce to the ad for my house I posted on craigslist. The woman sounded not all that nuts, so I am going to have her come up and look at it next week. She is coming from Tacoma, never has been to PT, so I know it may not really happen. Still, I am excited about it. We will see...

Oh HAY.

I'm 26 years old now. Horays.

Oh and happy Thanksgiving.

Imma stuff a turkey with berfday cake! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.